All of us are trying to find something. Trying to find meaning, love, contentment. Because we feel like something is missing. That’s why we keep ourselves so busy, why we kill ourselves with work, why we can’t be still.
This drive is what allows us to accomplish things. So it’s not all bad. The problem is that when we do accomplish things, we often don’t feel that much better. We look back at the road we just traveled, we look down at the mountain we just scaled, and we think to ourselves: This is it? We never seem to fill the void.
This void is similar to my current path. With the tears, the pain, the emotion, the questions and the anxiety I struggle with daily – I often wonder, when it’s all over, when this tour is done, will I appreciate the value in assisting others or will I grasp that I never found what I was after; How to live? Not in syllogisms, not in money, or fame, or self-indulgence.
Am I right or allowed to sense a void?
What we (I) have to comprehend is that doing more is not the answer to my problems: more sex, more compassion, more love, more friends, more money, more power, more empathy or more social media posts. These will never satisfy the place inside us (me) that never feels full. Nor will magical thinking, alcohol, marijuana or plant medicines from the jungles of Peru.
No, I have to remember – we don’t fill the void by fleeing from it or by compensating with externals. Based on how we nurture our soul, we satisfy it simply by living our life as nature demands. By being good, by being true to ourselves, by focusing, by not wasting a second wishing anything was otherwise or caring what other people think of us.
We just live, as well as we can and today I’m living, I’m in good health, and I have Ginger. Today, Brian Nadon is living as well as he can.
I hope you are living well, too.
By Brian Nadon